Business-owner mother-in-law refuses to give her helpless daughter-in-law a job at her company, despite her son's wishes: 'If I fire her, that would just make it worse, and I know she won’t be a good employee.'

Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor

Aug 13, 2026 6:35 PM EDT

In-laws and business just don't mix.

Has someone ever asked you to help them get a job, and you instantly knew it would be a bad idea? You might love your best friend with all of your heart, but know that if they ever got hired at your company based on your referral, it would be the end of both of your jobs.

I don't say this to mean that business and family can never mix. There are plenty of people who hire their kids and have great working relationships. The problem is when people hire their kids for roles they aren't qualified for. That can make the rest of their employees lose their respect for them quickly.

The mother-in-law and business owner in this story took to r/AmITheA**hole to ask the public whether she was in the wrong for refusing to hire her son's wife because she doesn't trust her to be a good employee. Unsurprisingly, most members of this subreddit didn't think she was wrong for putting the integrity of her business above her daughter-in-law's potentially hurt feelings.

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*A businesswoman who does not want to hire her daughter-in-law because she doesn't think she's smart enough to hold a job at her company.*
*_{Stock photography for depiction only.}*

Am I the bad guy for not hiring my daughter-in-law because she is helpless?

I own a business and I am proud to say I employee over 100 people. It is something I started over 30 years ago.

She could be more spoiled! She could be refusing to go back to work!

My DIL is helpless or just spoiled. It might actually be a combination of the two. She has been a stay at home mom for the pass 7+ years. The kids are now old enough that they are all in school and she is looking to go back to work.

The mother-in-law is very judgmental of her daughter-in-law.

She used to be a server but when she married my son stopped all together. She dropped out of college because of her failing grades. My DIL is very beautiful but. she doesn't seem to have much going on in her head. I

*A young, beautiful woman who is not the brightest crayon in the box, according to her mother-in-law.*
*_{Model portrayal.}*

She doesn't sound like she'd be a model employee

know it is harsh to say but I had to literally help her fill out basic document multiple timess. I have gotten multiple calls to answer simple questions many times.

I wouldn't hire her as an event planner, that's for sure.

If she plans something it is going to be a mess. Every single time her plans have fallen apart due to bad planning. Example: her kids birthday party, she never booked the trampolines place for the party. So they don't have a room and all the decorations had nowhere to go.

It's weird she's asking her mother-in-law to do it. Maybe her son is just being chivalrous towards her?

She can't fill up her own gas, or she just refuses too? She has asked me before to go get her gas for her car and apparently my son does that often. I can go on and on.

*Son fills up his wife's gas tank because she doesn't know how to do it by herself.*
*_{Photo is a representation of scenes.}*

It makes sense, she has been out of the workforce for the past seven years.

The problem is she wants to go back to work and not as a server. She wants a career. My son asked me if I was willing to give her a job. I asked to talk to her and when on the phone with her asked about her resume. She doesn't have one...

I told her no, becuase it is clear she is unqualified. My sons got back on the phone and we got into an argument. He told me this is unfair since he gave his sister (my daughter) a job.

Would she have hired someone as overqualified if she wasn't her daughter? I think not.

I gave my youngest daughter a job at the company because she was out of work. She was qualified for the job (actually over qualified, she has a masters) the investment paid off becuase she worked her off. She also went through

multiple interviews before hand and started at the bottom of the food chain. I told him that wasn't the same thing and his sister wasn't helpless. He asked to jsut make her a secretary or something and I told him no again.

Do you think the daughter-in-law will get over it eventually?

He is ped. My husband agrees with me on this, but I know it will mess with our relationship

Rain3lf The other option is you sit down with your son and tell him she can have a job at the lowest level just like your daughter and she will have to work her way up and if she cankot follow the same standards as any other employee she's out Unfortunately you are between a rock and a car crusher

Training-Pomelo5732 OP I can't do that. If I fire her that would just make it worse in the long run and I know she won't be a good employee so I don't wish to open my company up to that risk

CareyAHHH ΝΤΑ "He asked to jsut make her a secretary or something" This is so condescending. Sounds like he doesn't respect his wife or secretaries. If he really wants her to have a job, tell him she needs a resume with all her qualifications. She needs to go through the interview process. And if she does not at least meet the requirements of the job, then she will be fired.

Prudent_Put5739 NTA. Hiring isn't charity. Business needs competence. Your daughter earned it. Offering unqualified DIL a job risks morale, liability, and company standards.

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